A common source of lashon hara is hearing it from a friend or relative, someone you would generally trust. Perhaps you might think that their word should carry more weight and be considered more legitimate.
A sophisticated person can develop the ability to hear something and reserve judgement about whether it’s true. This is a critical skill if we hear lashon hara. It will allow us to remember what we hear for future benefit, and simultaneously maintain respect for the person being spoken about.
Edgar Allan Poe, a 19th-century writer, said, “Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see.”
Perhaps this is why God gave us imagination, so you can imagine something other than what you hear.
Did Jack really know that the lashon hara he spoke about Jill was true?
- Maybe Jack thought he knew what he saw, but he was mistaken.
- Maybe Jack really did see Jill do it, but later Jill went and fixed what she did without him finding out.
- Maybe Jack was only repeating what he heard someone else say about Jill, without any firsthand knowledge at all.
And, even if after all of your attempts at judging Jill favorably, you can’t help but think that what you heard is true, you still can’t repeat that lashon hara about Jill to anyone else or cause her any harm because of it.
Here’s today’s exercise:
Look for the positive side of a story, and use your imagination to come up with a creative explanation for how the entire situation was misunderstood.