Today's Daily Lesson: Day 21: Technical Success

An alcoholic who is trying to stay sober, for example, should not hang around in a bar. Someone on a tight budget shouldn’t spend their spare time in the mall. Children should not be allowed to play in the street. You get the idea.

Likewise, there are certain situations in life that make it difficult to avoid lashon hara.

Maybe you have a coworker who is always gossiping about the rest of the staff. Or a cousin who insists on sharing the dirt about everyone in the family.

Set yourself up for technical success. Avoid the company of people who routinely speak lashon hara — and the situations that bring out the gossip in you — as much as possible.

This may be easier said than done. The challenging relationships in our lives might be close friends, colleagues, or family members whose company we can’t just quit.

Here are a few techniques for handling those tough moments:

1. Plan topics of conversation in advance. Avoid talking about people and choose more neutral topics instead.
2. Mention that you’re trying to speak positively at all times, and ask for the help of your conversation partner. You may be surprised how the idea catches on — and even if it doesn’t, you will have set up some ground rules for future conversations. 
3. Keep it short and sweet. Make a phone call at a time when you only have a few minutes to talk.
4. Don’t get frustrated if you slip up. Change is hard, and mistakes are inevitable. Keep at it.

Eventually, the people in your life will realize that you’re not someone who wants to hear or speak lashon hara. You will earn their respect and be a good role model as well.

Here is a Daily To-Do for today:
Set yourself up for technical success by planning out a challenging conversation using the techniques we mentioned, to avoid lashon hara.