For example, a smile of approval at just the right moment can be more heartwarming than a compliment.
Or, with a wink and a nod, two people can share a moment of wordless derision that tears their victim apart.
Often, facial expressions, gestures, and body language can tell a lot more of the story than the words themselves. Even the confessional prayer that we say on Yom Kippur mentions “disdainful eyes.”
And after all, what’s an emoji, but a small, wordless facial expression? And, oh boy, can it say a lot.
Facial expressions, gestures, or body language that convey something negative are also considered lashon hara.
Another lashon hara pitfall can be found in subtle implications that are not negative, but suggest something negative.
For example:
“I can’t tell you what Jeff did at school today. I don’t want to speak lashon hara.”
No real insult was said. But everyone listening still got the message. Jeff did something stupid.
Ever hear of a “backhanded” compliment? It sounds like something nice is being said, but it also implies the opposite. If you say, for example, “Karen is doing really well; she has come a long way,” then the implication is that, once upon a time, Karen must have been a hot mess.
Conclusion: Even the most silent or subtle person can still say a lot of lashon hara.
Here’s your Daily To-Do practice: Today pay careful attention to gestures and facial expressions. Note the emotions that are communicated, even more than any words that may be said.