The average person says thousands of words every day — as many as 20,000 by some accounts. That’s a lot of words!
It’s daunting to try to police so many words each and every day. If some of those words are negative, critical, and insensitive, it would be hard to lock them inside our mouths and never let them out.
The real way not to speak badly about people is not to think badly about them in the first place. Judge others favorably. See the positive and overlook the negative. We won’t say anything negative if we don’t see anything negative.
A person is a mixture of finer points and rougher edges. We all know ourselves, and we are well aware that we’re not perfect. We have certain things that we’re not proud of, that we don’t want anyone to notice, and we certainly don’t want them posted online! We’ll make every excuse for ourselves, and we certainly judge ourselves favorably.
Shouldn’t we do the same for others? Yes, this person may be impatient, and that person may be self-absorbed. But if we look closely, we can find positive qualities in everyone. And that’s what we should focus on.
More than being just a good strategy not to speak lashon hara, focusing on the positive qualities of others also makes the world around us that much more beautiful. Who wants to live in a mean, critical world where everyone is annoying?
As radio personality and author Earl Nightingale said, “When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself.”
With a pair of “judging others favorably” glasses on, we live in a beautiful world, surrounded by interesting and colorful people from whom we can learn and with whom we can share. A place that is safe from constant criticism, that supports growth and peace.
That’s a world we all want to be part of and which can only become a reality if we upgrade the way we think — and speak — about each other.
For today’s Daily To-Do, when something negative about someone crosses your mind, quickly think of something positive about them.