Question number 6 is, “Will I cause even more harm?” In our case, Bud stole money from the ski shop where he works. If you tell his boss, what will happen? Bud would be obligated to repay the money.
However, if you know that Bud’s boss has a vicious temper and a loose tongue—and would certainly malign Bud’s name with a vengeance across the city—it’s a problem. That isn’t the fitting reward for Bud’s crime. It’s even worse than he deserves. And therefore, because your words would cause Bud more harm than is really “due” to him, you can’t say anything.
In real life, this is often a tricky question to answer. It may be hard to know what the fitting reward would be in this complex world in which we live. As we said before, when getting involved in other people’s lives, it’s always a good idea to ask for expert advice first.
As it says in the Talmud, Tractate Tamid, Chapter 4: “Who is wise? One who sees what will result from their decisions.”
For question number 7, the final question, we ask: Did I try alternatives? We have to ask ourselves whether there is another way to achieve the constructive goal without saying anything negative about Bud. In this case the constructive goal is to get Bud to pay back the money he stole.
So what are some alternatives? Firstly, we mentioned that we could speak directly to Bud and encourage him to admit what he did and pay back the money. We also could try waiting to see if he regrets his misdeed and admits the act on his own. Or, perhaps the act was caught on the security camera, and we could simply suggest that the manager watch the recording closely.
It is powerful to note just how far one should go not to say lashon hara—even about someone who just stole money! If there is any other way to facilitate the just solution without saying something negative about Bud, we have to do everything in our power to do so.
Your Daily To-Do is this:
When faced with an opportunity to say something today which is not so positive, try to find an alternative way to achieve the same result—and stay far away from any lashon hara.