Question number 4 asks, “Am I being completely accurate?”
If you’re going to speak up about Bud and the money, you must make absolutely sure that you’re not exaggerating or omitting anything from what happened.
“He took a huge wad of twenties.”
If you exaggerate what Bud did in any way, then you spoke slander about him. So as you try to help Bud repay what he stole, don’t lie about him in the process.
Similarly, don’t leave out any details that would mitigate the severity of what he did. It’s just as false to leave out a meaningful detail that would soften the listener’s impression of what Bud did.
As beloved English poet, painter, and printmaker William Blake once said, “A truth that’s told with bad intent, beats all the lies you can invent.”
Next, we need to ask question number 5: “Are my intentions pure?”
We stated previously that intent is a critical difference between lashon hara that is forbidden to say and what is appropriate and even obligatory to say. Your intent has to be constructive, which in this case is helping Bud to repay the stolen money.
Let’s say that you and Bud don’t get along so well. You may experience a little inner pleasure in telling the boss about Bud’s misdeeds.
Or, let’s say that instead of taking the money out of the cash register, Bud took money from your wallet. Even if you think you’re talking about it for constructive purposes, you can’t escape the desire to see Bud publicly disgraced for the financial loss that he caused you. In this case, even if you’re sure you won’t exaggerate—and even if all the other questions have been answered—you still shouldn’t say anything.
If you’re still not sure what, if anything, to say about Bud after asking questions 1 through 5, we’ll ask two more important questions in the next lesson that will help you come to the right conclusion.
For today’s Daily To-Do, check your intentions and make sure that there is nothing compromising your intent to bring about harmony and peace.