Day 22: Speak Up

Why would it be correct to say something negative about someone?

It may be permissible, or even obligatory, to say something negative about someone, when we’re doing so to fulfill another mitzvah. In this case, it’s not destructive bad-mouthing, which causes hatred and acrimony. It’s purposeful communication to accomplish a positive, constructive goal.

This is probably the most complicated topic of the month, because we’re walking a fine line: being careful not to say lashon hara but speaking up when it’s the right thing to do.

Before we begin, let’s be clear: If speaking up could save someone from danger, such as from a predator or an abusive relationship, we must do so. The laws of lashon hara don’t mean to silence us and allow harm to occur. When life and limb are at risk, we have to take action by speaking up and sharing information to protect people. 

This is clear from Leviticus 19:16, which commands us not “to stand on our brother’s blood.” This means that we can’t stand idly by while someone is in danger; we’re required to help.

In fact, this phrase is the second half of the very same verse that forbids speaking lashon hara. It’s as if to say, don’t speak lashon hara, but if there is a need to act to save someone from harm, you should.

Generally speaking, however, the question of what to say is not literally a life or death issue. Although that’s the clear-cut case, most of the time, the right thing to do is more subtle and complex. We still may need to speak up, but there are additional factors to consider, many of which we’ll discuss in the coming days.

For today’s Daily To-Do, think about the “why” when you speak, and be careful to have a constructive purpose behind what you’re saying.