A person may work side by side with someone for years, harboring the thought that the colleague is “annoying.” For all those years, the thought has no power to affect anything or anyone except the person thinking it.
Then, one day, this person enters into a conversation with a coworker and offers her assessment of the other woman, saying she’s “annoying.” The instant that thought is released into the world, it sets out on a path of destruction. Now another person’s attention has been drawn to this woman’s allegedly “annoying” mannerisms. She shows a little less patience with her. After all, she’s “annoying.” The relationship is damaged forever.
Rabbi Avraham Kohan of Great Neck, NY said, “Before you speak, you are in charge of the word. Once you speak, it is in charge of you. You are its hostage.”
We can think a million things in our head. Some nice, some not so nice, some compassionate, some critical. It’s the rare person who never thinks a negative thought about anyone.
But once we say the words, we’ve changed the fabric of reality, and we’re stuck with that change. Now others will see that person in a different light. Perhaps it will cost that person a job, a friendship, or a piece of their dignity. It may well cost us a friendship, too.
This powerful idea can help us hold our tongues and give us time to process our negative thoughts. As long as our thoughts are unspoken, we can work on them. “Is it really such a big deal? Can he help being that way? Am I any better?”
The world is a much better place when we are the masters, and our words work for us, accomplishing what we really want to accomplish in life.
Daily To-Do:
When you talk to people today, watch their faces to see their reactions to your words.