In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Professor Albus Dumbledore said, “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.”
In that case, here are some other options:
- Don’t join in with the lashon hara. Don’t contribute, nod, smile, or encourage the speaker in any way.
- Show disapproval. Make a sour face, as if you’re shocked at what you’re hearing.
- Cover your ears. In fact, the Talmud explains why we have pointy little fingers, and soft earlobes — to use to stuff up our ears when someone speaks lashon hara!
- Look down or away. When the speaker sees that you’re not listening, they’ll get the message.
- Change the topic of conversation. If you can’t think of anything clever, you can always talk about the weather.
- Make up an excuse and leave the conversation. “I think I left something in the oven.”
- If you’re on the phone, hang up and call back as if the call was dropped. Then bring up another subject.
If all else fails and you’re really stuck hearing lashon hara, make up your mind not to believe it.
If you’re in a group, it’s a positive thing to defend the victim of the lashon hara, if possible. Be careful not to prompt the speaker to reiterate or embellish the lashon hara in the process.
If you’re online, and someone posts something that’s lashon hara in a chat or group, you can post the Hear No Evil emoji (🙉) or leave the group.
And now here’s Daily To-Do:
Take a moment to visualize yourself responding to lashon hara, in any of the ways we just mentioned, so you’re ready in case it actually happens.