After all, if you care about the person speaking, or you care about the person being spoken about, or you care about the issue of lashon hara, you should do something about it.
When rebuking someone, make sure to be respectful and do it in a sensitive way. People generally don’t like to be told that they’re doing something wrong. Be careful to avoid their instinctive defensiveness.
One good idea is to make your comment more about yourself than about them.
“I’m sorry to interrupt you, but I’m really trying to watch what I say and hear and keep things positive. Do you mind if we change the subject? This is just something that’s important to me …”
On the other hand, criticism is NOT a good way to rebuke someone.
“How rude! How would you like someone to say that about you?”
It’s actually better not to rebuke at all, than to rebuke someone badly. If you don’t feel capable of being sensitive enough — or you feel confident that the speaker is not open to accepting your rebuke — don’t offer any.
Another risk of trying to stop someone from speaking lashon hara, is that you may actually prompt them to speak even more lashon hara. They might try to justify what they said with other examples or further confirmation of the insulting statement.
“But it’s really true! He did it again this morning…”
Or, if it goes really badly, they may start fighting with you. And that disrupts the peaceful world we’re trying to build.
So if you’re going to raise the issue, make sure to do so respectfully and sensitively.
For today’s Daily To-Do, if you hear any lashon hara today, see if you can successfully speak up and stop lashon hara in its tracks.