Here’s a helpful mental exercise to develop your shalom personality.
Imagine that you’re appointed to be the chief rabbi of the whole community. You protest at the undeserved honor and try politely to decline but to no avail.
You have been chosen.
Now think about your people as if they are your congregants and that you’re responsible for their spiritual well being.
Don’t think about standing at the pulpit at the onset of Kol Nidrei on Yom Kippur night, or under the wedding canopy at the height of a wedding celebration. This exercise is to put yourself in the other half of the chief rabbi’s job.
Imagine a constant stream of congregants lined up one after another to pour out their hearts, pleading for your help with the challenges, aggravations, and serious issues that they face that deprive them of the shalom and success that they long for.
This one has a sick relative and is struggling with the crushing weight of medical bills.
That one is locked in bitter conflict with his spouse and it’s tearing the family apart.
We all have challenges of some kind or other. Even people who appear to be managing life perfectly are often harboring an aching sense of loneliness, depression, or anxiety.
And as the chief rabbi, what can you do?
You can’t fix all their problems.
But you can care for them. You can feel a sense of concern for them and for their well being.
Think about each of the people in your imaginary congregation — and quietly to yourself, right now — wish them the best. They don’t even have to hear you.
When Rabbi Baruch Ber Leibowitz would see people he knew across the streets of Kamenetz, he would whisper to himself in Yiddish, “Brachos af dein kop.” Blessings on your head.
When Rabbi Nosson Tzvi Finkel would walk through the quiet streets of Slobodka on a Friday night, he would wish people a “Shabbat Shalom” from outside their homes, when they couldn’t even hear him.
You see, the first step in developing a shalom personality is to be like the chief rabbi and relate to your people with care and concern.
Try this today: Take a moment and “be the chief rabbi,” wishing goodness and blessing for your “congregants.”