Have you ever heard the line, \u201cI would never belong to a club that would have me as a member\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s a classic. Known simply as Groucho Marx\u2019s joke, it\u2019s the definition of self-deprecating humor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And oddly enough, it can be a powerful tool of shalom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Take this story from Rabbi Aharon Feldman in his book on marital harmony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rabbi Feldman once heard a woman call her husband a \u201cstupid idiot\u201d in front of a room full of guests. Shocked silence followed. It could have been a disaster. But the clever husband diffused the situation with humor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Raising himself up in mock anger, he said, \u201cI resent that remark. I\u2019ve been an idiot all my life and no one has ever implied that I\u2019m stupid, too.\u201d Everyone laughed, and the unkind remark was forgotten. What might well have become an awful fight was diffused with humor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The secret is this: in place of anger, try humor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t get angry, make a joke. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Laugh off the insult instead of getting upset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If someone insults your driving, instead of defending yourself and getting into an argument, try saying \u201cYah! Where did I get my license, anyway? 7-11?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If someone points out that you did something wrong again, try saying, \u201cI never make the same mistake twice. I make them lots of times just to be sure.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of course, if you owe an apology for what you did, make sure to apologize right after the joke and take advantage of the lighter mood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But here\u2019s a word of caution: when you find yourself in a conversation that\u2019s heating up and think humor might be able to lighten the mood, don\u2019t make a joke at the expense of whomever you\u2019re talking to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s a big difference between a self-deprecating joke and a snide comment. The first is like a meringue pie in your own face. The other is like pouring fuel on the fire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When used correctly, making a joke can be a great tool for diffusing tension and calming a fight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Try this today: If you find yourself feeling attacked, see if you can laugh instead of getting angry, and make a joke at your own expense.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Have you ever heard the line, \u201cI would never belong to a club that would have me as a member\u201d?<\/p>\n It\u2019s a classic. Known simply as Groucho Marx\u2019s joke, it\u2019s the definition of self-deprecating humor.<\/p>\n And oddly enough, it can be a powerful tool of shalom.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"template":"","format":"standard","categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-867","daily-lesson","type-daily-lesson","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-normal"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n