One of this year\u2019s Clean Speech Champions shared the following poignant story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhen I was a child, my next door neighbor asked me if I liked her new haircut. Without thinking about it, I told her that I liked it better before. She was very hurt, and told me how unkind I was. To this day, decades later, I remember that moment and I feel terrible that I caused her such pain. What was I thinking? I hope she doesn\u2019t still remember that awful moment the way I do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And just like in that story, we may be treading on very thin ice when we get asked for our opinion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Frequently what we\u2019re really being asked for is a kind word or a compliment. Not our candid opinion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is especially true when there\u2019s nothing that can be done anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Like when a person buys a custom suit that can\u2019t be returned, and they ask you, \u201cHow do you like it?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They\u2019re really just interested in hearing something nice. If they wanted your honest opinion, they would have asked you before the purchase was made.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When there\u2019s nothing that can be done, giving a useless criticism just causes conflict.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Truth and honesty are some of Judaism\u2019s highest ideals. The Torah doesn\u2019t just say, \u201cDon\u2019t lie.\u201d It says, \u201cStay far away from falsehood.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, there are exceptions even to that hard rule \u2014 for the sake of shalom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If a positive outcome will result from offering your honest opinion, you should give it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For example, if a friend asks if she should go out with a guy who\u2019s been married six times, can\u2019t hold down a job, and his picture is hanging in the post office, then saying, \u201cI don\u2019t think that\u2019s a great match for you,\u201d is the right response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, when brutal honesty will cause conflict instead of shalom \u2014and the matter isn\u2019t as consequential as choosing a life partner \u2014 choose the shalom response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If your friend says, \u201cDoesn\u2019t my daughter play the cello so nicely?\u201d saying, \u201cShe certainly does,\u201d is the shalom response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Try this today: If you get asked for your opinion on something, before answering, assess whether you\u2019re being asked for an honest opinion or just a kind word.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" One of this year\u2019s Clean Speech Champions shared the following poignant story.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen I was a child, my next door neighbor asked me if I liked her new haircut. Without thinking about it, I told her that I liked it better before. She was very hurt, and told me how unkind I was. To this day, decades later, I remember that moment and I feel terrible that I caused her such pain. What was I thinking? I hope she doesn\u2019t still remember that awful moment the way I do.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"template":"","format":"standard","categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-857","daily-lesson","type-daily-lesson","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-normal"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n