Did you ever find yourself in an argument, and you didn\u2019t even know why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Things that trigger us and put us into fight mode can be very subtle. So subtle, that sometimes we don\u2019t even realize them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For example, a common trigger for tension is criticism. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYour room is such a mess!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you catch the ball?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYour report really didn\u2019t address the issue.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Being criticized feels like an attack. People tend to believe that they are basically flawless. We know we\u2019re not actually perfect, but we\u2019re certainly as good as can be expected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When someone points out something we did wrong, it rubs up against that illusion, and our defense system kicks in. We get annoyed, or even angry. The conversation becomes a fight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To counter the attack, we argue. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMy room IS clean!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe ball was way over my head!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat report covered EVERYTHING.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So the first thing to do to fix the problem, is to recognize our negative reaction to the criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead of being defensive, the best way to handle criticism is to stop and consider it. It may be accurate. And if so, it\u2019s a gift. When we hear something we can improve on, it\u2019s an opportunity for us to grow. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If it\u2019s not true, getting angry still doesn\u2019t help. Maybe it was misguided and well intended.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And even if it was not so well intended, fighting about it won\u2019t make it better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As we develop greater awareness of our emotional response to criticism, we\u2019ll be able to prevent the conflict that criticism often causes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Try this today: When someone criticizes you, stop and take your emotional pulse. Before you get into an argument, recognize how the words made you feel. And see if you can avoid the argument entirely.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Did you ever find yourself in an argument, and you didn\u2019t even know why?<\/p>\n Things that trigger us and put us into fight mode can be very subtle. So subtle, that sometimes we don\u2019t even realize them.\u00a0<\/p>\n For example, a common trigger for tension is criticism.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"template":"","format":"standard","categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-852","daily-lesson","type-daily-lesson","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-normal"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n