Here’s a story to consider.
It was Mike’s turn at the register at the grocery store. With his cell phone pinned between his ear and his shoulder he was trying to talk with his wife.
“Honey,” he said. “We can’t eat dinner with the Cohens. I have a board meeting.”
At the same moment, the grocery clerk said, “Hi sir. Do you have a loyalty card?”
Still talking with his wife, Mike said, “I told you about the board meeting last month.” Without addressing the grocery clerk, he handed over his loyalty card.
The clerk asked, “Would you like a receipt?”
As Mike shook his head at the clerk and took his groceries, he continued talking into his phone.
The clerk called after him: “Have a nice day!”
Mike shrugged affirmatively as he walked out of the store.
The venerable sage Shammai — although it’s unlikely that he was referring specifically to the grocery checkout line — instructed us many centuries ago to “receive everyone with a cheerful face.”
In Hebrew the phrase “a cheerful face” contains three words: sever panim yafos, which give us an important three-fold bit of advice on greeting people with shalom.
The root of the first word, sever, means “thoughtful.”
When greeting someone we should show interest in them, and interact thoughtfully. We shouldn’t be thoughtless, insensitive, or inattentive. To put everything else on hold and give someone your full attention communicates powerfully just how significant and important they are.
The second word, panim, means “face.” We should turn our faces and look directly at the person we’re speaking with. Our face is like our front door; it’s the part of us that we show the world. We should make it welcoming.
The last word, yafos, means “pleasant.” We have to smile. Show some teeth, even. Indicate that we appreciate the person in front of us. Giving a smile instantly sends waves of warmth and goodwill along with it. We should be a source of pleasantness.
A day is a series of interactions between people, each one of which is an opportunity for our shalom personality to shine.
Try this today: In conversation, make sure to really focus on the person you’re talking to with your attention, your face, and your smile.