Our historic role models in this particular struggle are the students of the great sage Hillel.
The names Hillel and Shammai are synonymous with great debate. Their Talmudic arguments span the breadth of Jewish law and define Jewish life as we know it today. As a general rule, Jewish law always follows the opinion of the School of Hillel. Why?
The Babylonian Talmud explains: “The students of Hillel were gracious and tolerant, quoting the opinions of the School of Shammai along with their own. Not only that, but they even quoted the opinions with which they differed before their own opinions”.
Lashon hara emanates from the mistaken belief that everyone and everything should conform to my standard. It arises out of an intolerance of differences between oneself and others — someone else’s opinions as opposed to my own, someone else’s politics as opposed to my own, someone else’s beliefs as opposed to my own.
Such intolerance is a denial of the Divine uniqueness of each and every human being.
In the Midrash it says, “Just as two people’s faces aren’t the same, neither are their thoughts the same.”
Rabbi Yisroel Alter of Ger commented on this Midrash, saying that we should accept differences in thought, as readily as we accept differences in appearance.
Question: Doesn’t an attempt to curtail speech stop us from expressing our opinions or standing up for what we believe in?
Answer: No. Reducing lashon hora in our community should cause an increase in our ability to discuss issues about which we differ. Rather than clamping down on substantive conversation about the many issues of interest and concern to us, we can build bridges of respectful dialogue, allowing even strongly held differences of opinion to be aired without personal attack, character defamation, or insult.
Daily To-Do:
During one conversation today, acknowledge an opinion with which you don’t agree.